justgethigh.com • PSH: Dealing With Your Dealer

PSH: Dealing With Your Dealer

Your dealer might be your best friend or some guy you meet in a mall parking lot once every two weeks. A balding hippie with a gray ponytail, a hip-hop head in a hoodie, or a young skater chick with cool tattoos. It takes all kinds, so to speak. Some dealers sell a little on the side so they can smoke for free, and some find themselves heavily involved in a full-time hustle. Whatever the nature of your relationship with your reefer man (or woman), there are still ten solid commandments to keep in mind when it comes to dealing with your dealer.

1. THOU SHALT NOT HAGGLE. Marijuana is definitely a take it or leave it proposition.

2. THOU SHALT NOT DAWDLE. If your dealer wants you to stick around and get high, you’ll be invited; otherwise, do your business and move along.

3. THOU SHALT NOT BRING A FRIEND WITHOUT PERMISSION, FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.

4. THOU SHALT NOT ASK FOR A FREE SAMPLE.

5. THOU SHALT NOT ASK TO BE FRONTED WEED UNTIL NEXT TUESDAY.

6. THOU SHALT NOT ASK WHERE THINE DEALER GETS HERB FROM OR HOW MUCH IT COSTS.

7. THOU SHALT NOT TALK ABOUT HERB ON THE PHONE OR EMAIL.

8. THOU SHALT NOT MAKE A SCENE. This means no loud music booming out of your car windows on the way in or hysterical laughter on the way out.

9. THOU SHALT NOT EXPECT YOUR DEALER TO SMOKE YOU OUT ALL THE TIME AND NEVER RETURN THE FAVOR. After all, didn’t you just get a brand-new fat sack of weed?

10. THOU SHALT NOT BUG THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR DEALER DURING THE OCCASIONAL DRY SPELL.